Open Blog in place of in-class writing for 7-07-06

Exercise, diet, binge, purge, and of course, pills.
We use so many methods to shed the sixty pounds that we gained over the past seven years, and we try to do this in seven weeks. Yet, we never make it to seven weeks because we are discouraged by week three. The pounds are not falling off as fast as we hoped and we proceed to indulge in our depression foods, elephant ears at the fair, ice cream, and the biggest pleasure of them all, chocolate ( any kind will do).
I have been battling with my weight for six years. I tried pills, until they took Ephedra away, purging ( not puking, it rots your teeth), and exercise, until my routine is interrupted by late nights at work, and I'm no longer motivated. Then I wear a pair of jeans to work and my circulation is cut off after lunch. Or, I look for new clothes and the size I try on is just a little bit more snug then the outfit I wore to the store, even though the sizes are the same. I come to the realization that I've stretched my pants to their maximum capacity and new pants are not as flexible in my endeavors.
I also have to listen to my friends that are bordering anorexia complain about how huge they are and how they have a "J-Lo booty", and then follow it up by lying to me and saying "you look great". Bullshit! Until I am one of them again, I hate skinny people.
What's my plan this time around on the lose weight merry-go-round. I am eating from smaller plates, going to the gym right after work so that my fiance' nor myself can talk me out of walking three miles, and not treating myself to calorie loaded, fat storing foods unless I've lost fifteen pounds, and this is per fifteen pounds.
It's saddening to be happy while you take a picture, but become totally disgusted with yourself when you have them developed and rolls you can't even reach in the shower are staring you in the face.
It's going to take a crap load of will power and encouragement from myself to reach my goal of losing seventy pounds. I'll just have to pass on the cake at the retirement party, walk to CVS across the street versus jumping in my vehicle, make that afternoon snack a piece of fruit or granola bar, and eat slowly so that my body can react to being full/satisfied before I have to unbutton my jeans in order to breath.
Therefore, the next time I feel the need to cheat, I'll remind myself that my thighs are not courting each other and should not have to touch with every step.