Songs that help say who I am

Let's begin with my list of songs. Some may be self explanatory.
Just like a pill - Pink
Ironic - Alanis
Confessions -Usher
Still the one - ?
Roughneck - MC Lyte
We belong together - Mariah
My eyes don't cry no more - Stevie Wonder
Stick with you - Pussycat Dolls
You oughta know- Alanis

Let's begin by saying that I can be a very loving person, who loves hard, and unfortunately sometimes too long. I am also the type of person who can be quite bitter, vindictive, and spiteful. I''ve had some good relationships and some crushing relationships, and no matter what the outcome, I try to learn something from each experience. The problem lies with being just as stupid coming out of a relationship as you were going in.
The above songs represents different times in my life that have made a impact on who I am today. For instance, there are a few songs that represent the father of my son , Robert, who was also my first love. Take "Roughneck" by MC Lyte for example, she talks about how this man was straight from the streets with a don't even try it attitude. Which for me was an instant attraction, considering I was the youngest of six children, and five of them being girls. My father kept a very close eye on who we spent our time with, or should I say making sure who we didn't spend our time with. Good girl and bad boy, it was fate. In the words of Mariah, I really thought that "We belonged together".
The songs "You oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette, and "Confessions" by Usher go hand and hand with one event that happen in my life. My son's father cheated on me and just happen to get her pregnant. Needless to say, our relationship had to end. He told me that "he'd love until he died and he is still alive" (Alanis ). It took me quite awhile to heal but in the process it harden me. Which still shines through presently, because although I love my fiance' dearly, I never plan on allowing him to hurt me that deeply.
Which brought the artist, Pink, into my line up of lyrics. "Just like a Pill" is what Robert has the tendency to mean to me. "Instead of making me better, he's making me ill".
Now, my fiance', Jason, represents some of my other song selections. Being an interracial couple meant that we had to prepare for the staring, the snickering and the questioning. Which wasn't so much a problem for me because usually I don't give two shits about what people think of my relationship, but Jason on the other hand was faced with opposition from his parents and wasn't sure on how he should face them with the news our engagement of cohabitation. Which brings me to "Still the One". I may not be sure about who the artist is, but I am sure that some of the lyrics are dead on about some of my feelings.. There is a line that says "I'm so glad we made it, look how far we've come my baby. We kinda took the long way, but I knew we'd get there some day. They said, I bet, they'll never make it, but look at us holding on. Still together, still going strong". This song could be my theme song, and I plan on playing it at our wedding, just for the doubters. Along with "Stick With You" by the Pussycat Dolls. Because although we may argue from time to time, we compliment each other, and that brings out the best in the both of us.
I bet you are wondering where "My Eyes Don't Cry No More" by Stevie Wonder fits into all of this. Well, I'll tell you. Simply, when I go out to the bar and there's dancing or to a wedding, I like to do the hustle.

Open Blog in place of in-class writing for 7-07-06

Exercise, diet, binge, purge, and of course, pills.
We use so many methods to shed the sixty pounds that we gained over the past seven years, and we try to do this in seven weeks. Yet, we never make it to seven weeks because we are discouraged by week three. The pounds are not falling off as fast as we hoped and we proceed to indulge in our depression foods, elephant ears at the fair, ice cream, and the biggest pleasure of them all, chocolate ( any kind will do).
I have been battling with my weight for six years. I tried pills, until they took Ephedra away, purging ( not puking, it rots your teeth), and exercise, until my routine is interrupted by late nights at work, and I'm no longer motivated. Then I wear a pair of jeans to work and my circulation is cut off after lunch. Or, I look for new clothes and the size I try on is just a little bit more snug then the outfit I wore to the store, even though the sizes are the same. I come to the realization that I've stretched my pants to their maximum capacity and new pants are not as flexible in my endeavors.
I also have to listen to my friends that are bordering anorexia complain about how huge they are and how they have a "J-Lo booty", and then follow it up by lying to me and saying "you look great". Bullshit! Until I am one of them again, I hate skinny people.
What's my plan this time around on the lose weight merry-go-round. I am eating from smaller plates, going to the gym right after work so that my fiance' nor myself can talk me out of walking three miles, and not treating myself to calorie loaded, fat storing foods unless I've lost fifteen pounds, and this is per fifteen pounds.
It's saddening to be happy while you take a picture, but become totally disgusted with yourself when you have them developed and rolls you can't even reach in the shower are staring you in the face.
It's going to take a crap load of will power and encouragement from myself to reach my goal of losing seventy pounds. I'll just have to pass on the cake at the retirement party, walk to CVS across the street versus jumping in my vehicle, make that afternoon snack a piece of fruit or granola bar, and eat slowly so that my body can react to being full/satisfied before I have to unbutton my jeans in order to breath.
Therefore, the next time I feel the need to cheat, I'll remind myself that my thighs are not courting each other and should not have to touch with every step.

Reading for July 7, 2006 Katz

Pets taking the place of human contact and socialization. How can there even be a comparison? Sure dogs will not yell at you for forgetting to take out the cans on garbage day, but they will be the one that go through the cans and cause more clean up. They are just as much work as having a child. You have to make sure they are fed, find them a dog-sitter if you are going out, make sure they see a doctor, and show them affection on a daily basis, which they do not know how to understand that do you do not wish to pet them for hours on end.
Not to say that pets do not serve a valuable purpose, but if there was as much effort into nurturing and taking care of children and mates, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to love someone of your own species.
Those who believe that "dog love is safer", have given up on finding a homo-sapien that can give them a magnitzed version of companionship.
I have a fiance', but I am also a dog owner, and although my fiance' makes me want to be single every now and then, I could not imagine trading our time to only be spent with a canine(s).